You could own the only house in rural Vikingville without a rodent infestation. How can this be? We hire a professional. If you stop paying the professional, you’ll be just another rodent-infested Vikingville residence. Do you enjoy mowing the lawn? This is the house for you. We have many lawns. Lots of lawns and spacious unmowed pastures full of beautiful, yet toxic buttercups.
Comes with fully enclosed chicken fortress, complete with covered chicken yard guaranteed to protect your precious hens from the scenic wildlife including, but not limited to: possums, cougars, raccoons, eagles, hawks and ravens. If you ever let them out of their fortress to free range your beautiful, scenic yard, they will be devoured by predators.
Hay storage is provided in a beautiful steel shed. There is so much steel in this building, you won’t believe it. Even the roof is steel. It has a slight condensation problem but this is easily solved by covering everything inside with a tarp.
We may throw in a 34-year-old John Deere lawn tractor that has had nearly every part replaced at least once. It is louder than the space shuttle on take off, so ear protection is recommended. It randomly stops working, usually when the grass is growing, so that will give you an excuse not to mow.
Large garden area. Larger than you could ever take care of without an army of servants. It grows giant vegetables and bigger weeds.
Three bedroom house with a fourth bedroom-like thing that is slightly larger than a closet. Three bathrooms. One has a new toilet. Don’t ask. But this toilet will flush anything and not plug up. Highly useful if you have kids. Laundry room adjacent the garage so can throw your muddy clothes in the washer after a hard day of fixing random unfixable things around the property in winter.
Barn for your horses and gravel paddocks that need to be cleaned daily to stay nice. Well-started compost pile so you don’t need to start your own. Fencing for you to maintain. If you’ve ever dreamed of riding the range and fixing your own fences, just like a real cowboy or cowgirl, here’s your chance.
Horse riding ring that needs to be harrowed to keep its smooth surface and tidy look. If you’ve sat watching Monday Night Football thinking, “I wish I had a horse ring to harrow,” here’s your chance. You can harrow it any time you want, because it’s yours! It also grows weeds, so you need to stay on top of that.
This property has many prunable trees. You can prune them all. Several times a year. They grow continuously and randomly break off during storms so you will need to hire a tree expert to climb up and remove the offending branch before it kills someone.
Natural bog area full of native and non-native plants. These include tasty blackberries, which grow very well there. In fact, you will need to prune them constantly if you want any other plants to grow or if you want to walk there. Scenic walking path around the periphery of property. Stroll through meadow, marsh and the edge of woods. The woods is on the property of your new neighbors, who enjoy a perfect lawn and think everyone, even you should have one. Expect to hear from them soon.